Stepmomming Post 2: The Solitude of the Heart

As stepmoms, we often find ourselves dried up, used up, drowning in a chaotic sea of other people's problems. Our family's issues loom large and threaten to overwhelm us.

We feel lost.

Whether you're a stepmom or not, it's important to ask yourself from time to time where your sense of well-being comes from. Does your contentment depend upon your circumstances, or do you have access to a source of peace within yourself? Does it respond only to events and people outside of you, or does it flow from the depths of your inner life?

If our sense of well-being is dependent upon what is outside of us, we soon spiral into discontent. We absorb what is around us and what is not ours, and our lives feel chaotic.

Stepmomming Post 1: The good part about being a stepmom

When I was first planning to become a stepmom, I scoured the library and the web for helpful information. I was like a first-time parent devouring What to Expect When You're Expecting. Obviously, neither biological nor stepparents can fully prepare themselves for the reality of what's to come, but we sure are determined.

I read everything there was to read till I started running out of search terms for Google. Then, one day, sick of all the negativity out there (and, when it comes to stepparents and stepparenting, there's a lot), I tried out a new question on Google. "What's the good part about being a stepmom?" And you know what comes up? "10 Brutal Truths About Being a Stepmom." "The Six Hardest Things About Being a Stepmom." "Life As a Stepmother is No Fairytale -- I feel sorry for my wife." (Not that these articles aren't helpful; it's super important as a stepmom to be in touch with reality.) When I did find someone listing a few good things about being a stepmom, it was usually just about how you didn't have to do the dirty work of parenting and could escape the chaos of kids at your convenience. Hardly a consolation prize for a group of women who usually would rather just gain insider status in their own families.

So I set out to discover just what it was about stepmomming that was "the good part."